Resolving Workplace Tensions: Practical Mediation Tools for Managers

Have you ever heard the saying one bad apple can spoil the tree? Well, a small misunderstanding can spiral into a mountain of tension and problems if left unchecked. Working in teams is challenging, as it requires individuals from various backgrounds to come together to accomplish tasks. Considering the differences in work style, personality, goal orientation and communication, it’s not difficult to imagine how conflict can arise. The truth is, conflict is inevitable, what makes the difference is conflict resolution. But guess what, people also differ in their conflict resolution style! There are those who are more direct and others who are avoidant, those willing to listen versus others who talk too much, those who want to resolve the conflict and others who want to stay mad! It sounds like a bad joke, but as the manager, you must navigate this landmine of employee temperament, where one wrong move can set off a series of explosion in the organization’s social fabric.

First, recognize what is your conflict response and more importantly, recognize who you are dealing with. According to the Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Mode, there are five response modes to conflict:

Competitor- this individual is assertive and uncooperative. Their focus is their own interest, making it difficult for them to see others’ point of view. They may be power-hungry and defend a position simply because they want to be right.

Avoidant- Like the competitor, the avoidant is uncooperative but also unassertive. They do not defend any position, instead, they disengage. It can be difficult to get through to this person as they may postpone, ignore or shutdown when they are overwhelmed.

Collaborator- This individual is both assertive and cooperative. They aren’t just pushing a point for their own advantage; they are concerned with an outcome that benefits all parties. This includes openness to understanding others’ point of view and fining solutions together.

Accommodator- Like the collaborator, the accommodator is cooperative but unassertive. This person might be a people pleaser and will neglect their own needs to satisfy others. As such, acquiescence is not much of an issue here.  

Compromiser- Comparable to the collaborator, this individual is both assertive and cooperative but to a lesser extent. You can say they are at moderate levels, while the collaborator is at peak level. According to Kilman Diagnostics “compromising gives up more than competing but less than accommodating. Likewise, it addresses an issue more directly than avoiding but does not explore it in as much depth as collaborating. In some situations, compromising might mean splitting the difference between the two positions, exchanging concessions, or seeking a quick middle-ground solution."

Now that you’ve identified the players on the board, it’s time to utilize your mediation techniques. Mediation techniques help you to acknowledge complex emotions without being judgmental of others. As a sidenote, these techniques may come in handy in your personal relationships, but if you find yourself using them consistently with a particular individual, sorry to say, but you may want to reconsider that association.

Mediation involves the use of de-escalation techniques: calm tone, pausing when tension rises, or taking a short break. These techniques facilitate emotional regulation. Unfortunately, emotional regulation is a skill that some adults have not adequately developed, making it difficult to have any resolution. As a manager, it may be difficult to admit you are fighting an up-hill battle. If emotional regulation is a core issue, then mindfulness strategies and stress management resources need to become embedded into the wider organizational environment.

Mediation Techniques

• Caucusing: Meet separately with each party before joint discussion to clarify concerns.

• Set clear rules for discussion: No personal attacks or interruptions, keep discussions future-focused rather than dwelling on past blame, create a psychologically safe space where people can be candid without fear of retaliation.

• Step-by-step process: Define the problem → explore options → agree on solutions → set follow-up (See figure below).

• Joint discussion: Repeat the step-by-step process here with both parties

  
  

Step-by-step mediation ideas

Define the Problem

Practice Active Listening

• Allow each person to share their perspective without interruption.

• Use active listening (e.g. paraphrasing, summarizing, clarifying questions).

• Acknowledge emotions (e.g. “I hear that you feel there is unfairness in the distribution of tasks”).

• Avoid judgmental language or siding with one party.

Explore Options

Reframe the Problem

• Frame the narrative in a positive way (e.g. shift a negative statement “I’m doing more than my fair share while others barely pull their weight” to a positive statement “Let’s explore how we can balance our workload more evenly, so everyone contributes effectively.”

• Redirect focus from individual grievances to team or organizational goals (e.g., project success, client satisfaction, maintaining team harmony).

• Help employees move beyond positions (“I want X”) to interests (“I need X because…”).

•  Ask probing questions to uncover what truly matters to each party (e.g. is the employee fueled by recognition, rewards or fairness)

·       Write these down visibly (e.g., on a whiteboard) so everyone sees

commonalities.

Agree on Solutions

• Brainstorm possible solutions without evaluating them initially.

• Encourage creativity and collaboration.

• Then, evaluate options together using fairness, feasibility, and impact as criteria.

• Aim for a win–win outcome (where both parties’ key needs are met).

Set follow-ups

• Write down agreed-upon solutions to avoid ambiguity.

• Set a timeline for reviewing progress.

• Check in with both parties to ensure commitments are being upheld and to rebuild trust.

Ultimately, conflict is part of teamwork, it can’t always be avoided, but it can be managed. As a manager, your effectiveness depends on how well you identify the source of tension, understand each person’s conflict style, and apply the right mediation approach. Staying calm, listening actively, and setting clear expectations can prevent small issues from escalating into major problems. Remember, good conflict management isn’t just about resolving disputes, it’s about maintaining trust, keeping teams focused, and creating a work environment where everyone feels heard and respected.